Days Fourteen through Eighteen

 

OK, so I fell off the bandwagon BIG TIME with the blogging this past week.  Even my Weekly Update is a day late.

Not much to say about that except for I am going to keep trying.  Change takes time, sometimes I will falter but the important thing is to keep trying to move forward.

Last week I managed the following on my list:

30 minute walk outside - 4 out of 7 days I managed to get this done

No alcohol Sunday - Thursday - This one I nailed yet again (probably the easiest for me)

Eat breakfast every day - Had a lot of "brunch" instead of breakfast and lunch.  Will need to focus more on this

Blog everyday - Definitely failed on this one

Finish a weekly to-do list for around the house - I managed to get about half of my list completed.  There are a couple of items that will be ongoing but I feel better about this one this week.

This week I am adding one more item:

Do a 30 minute workout 5 times a week - now that all kids are back in school, I can get back to my online workouts

I will keep my eyes on the prize, knowing that these changes will make be feel less stressed, more relaxed and help me get on a healthier track.

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Thirteen

I finally feel like I am starting to make some changes happen. 

I actually spent some dedicated time on my to-do list! Tasks got accomplished and crossed off my list. I still might not get everything completed by Sunday, but at least I will have done more than I did last week.

Making progress, even if it is small has given me some inspiration and motivation. Getting ideas on how to better organize and utilize space in the kitchen.

Looking forward to keeping the momentum and crossing more off tomorrow.  The change will happen!

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Twelve

Priorities!

Sometimes they need to change. The list of small changes I am working on needs to have priorities.

In order for me to work on the external changes, like my to-do list, i need to prioritize some of the changes I am doing for myself. As selfish as this sounds, I need to make myself the priority.

I am struggling. I think I need to recharge daily in order to have the motivation and desire to move forward.

I am going to set a Monday-Friday schedule for myself starting next week so I can refocus. The first hour to hour and a half I have without the kids will be mine.

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Eleven

Today was a really off day.

Woke up this morning feeling totally defeated. A long, restless night full of demoralizing dreams did nothing to help with my motivation to work on my to do list.

I want to make these changes. I want to control these changes. I want to make my life better on my own terms.

The changes I am striving for wil make me a better wife, mother, friend but most importantly make me feel like a better person.

Why do I feel like subconsciously I am sabatoging myself? Now all my fears, my insecurities, my failures are coming to the surface.

All I can do is keep trying. Every day is a new day, a new chance for change.

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Nine & Ten

 

So my intent was to update weekly with how my change are going and if I am adding anything new or altering my plan.  Mondays are the start of the week, so it seems fitting that the update should be then.

Updates from last week:

30 minute walk outside - weekdays were good, weekend was a fail.  Need to be more dedicated to get this done

No alcohol Sunday - Thursday - I totally rocked this one.  This will continue!

Eat breakfast every day - Managed to do this one as well.  Sunday was brunch which counts right??

Blog everyday - 6 out of 7, not too bad for the first week

Finish a weekly to-do list for around the house - BIG FAIL.  No excuses.  I am having motivation issues and the kids were virtual learning last week which made dedicating time to this difficult.  Will try again this week.

Not adding anything new today.  Need to master the few items I am already trying to change before I attempt more.

This is still a start, and in my opinion better than nothing.  I can do this, I can make these changes.

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Eight

Lacking in motivation today.

The to-do list is calling my name and I have no get up and go to even start on it, let alone finish it.

This is the change that I need to make the most, and is the hardest for me. There are always obstacles that get in my way.  Some are my own creation, but others are not in my control.  That's what happens in a household of 5.

The husband had to finish the renovations on our eldest child's room.  Something that was started 3 weeks ago.  It took most of the afternoon.

The younger two did not want to get along today.  It meant more disruptions for me to mediate them.  

The few moments that I did have, once I started, I was my own worst enemy and got easily distracted by less important tasks. Unfortunately, that happens a lot.

By the time I was able to get some time to myself and actually try focusing on the to-do list, it was time to start dinner.

I still want to change my house keeping habits. I am not giving up, I will work through the list I made as much as I can tomorrow and then make a new one for the following week.  Hopefully I can choose to manage the distractions better and get things done.

I am the one in charge of my change.

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Seven

Do we take a chance on change?

Does change give us a chance?

Or really is it both?

Taking a chance on change can open doors to so many more experiences, friendships, passions. It can make dreams come true, it can help achieve goals.  Taking the step to make change can alter your life forever.

Changing gives us the chance to have more opportunities in all aspects of life.  It can give us more contacts for career choices, it can make us healthier and have a more positive outlook.  It can expand friendships and families.

We are the only ones that can choose which changes to make, which chances to take.  Both to me are well worth the risk.

I am the one in charge of my change.

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Six

Change is hard. Change is scary. Change is inevitable.

Fear is what holds a lot of people back from change.  Any kind of change, from the simplest to the most complex. 

About 4 years ago, I was fed up with my weight.  I had been struggling with it all of my adult life.  I wanted to start something to get myself more fit and healthy and hopefully lose weight in the process.  I was scared.  I didn't want to go to a gym.  I didn't want people to look down at me because I was overweight.  I didn't want to made fun of because I wasn't familiar with techniques or equipment.  

Eventually I let go of the fear.  With the encouragement of my husband and some prodding from my best friend, I found somewhere that worked for me for three years. I started kickboxing and fell in love with actually doing martial arts (not just watching movies).  I did group classes for fitness kickboxing.  I then got more confident and started Shotokan karate.  More confidence came and I started Muay Thai.  If I had stayed scared I would never have tried any of these things.  I changed my life and lost weight, got more fit and even competed in tournaments that allowed me to travel internationally.  

Fear takes away your control.  Fear takes away your freedom.

Fear shouldn't stop you from making the changes you want.

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Five

 

This resonates with me a lot.  

Change is everywhere, all the time. Everything that I do, say, act upon will change something or someone.  Every time something or someone changes it will change me.

How we react to things will change how someone else will respond.  That reaction will then affect how we then respond.  It is very much a cycle, a cycle of change.

We have the freedom to choose how we respond, but in this case we do not have the freedom to choose the change.  All we can do with our freedom is to look for positive actions to hopefully entice positive responses and reactions.  The outcome will most likely be positive change.

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Four

 

Sometimes the easiest thing seems to be the hardest.  You would think making small changes like I have chosen to do would be not too difficult.  Well it is. 

The hardest change I am trying to make this week is eating breakfast. 

Seems so simple.  I get up, make breakfast for the kiddos, shouldn't be hard to just make extra for myself.

Issue #1:  I am not usually hungry first thing in the morning.  Usually it takes me a couple of hours before I have an appetite for more than coffee.

Issue #2:  I don't usually want the same thing the kids are having.  

Issue #3:  I am lazy and don't want to make myself something different.

Circumstances make change hard.  Choices make change hard.  It is still up to me, my choices, to make the changes I want to make.  I still have the freedom to change, the freedom to choose.  

I am looking into breakfast meal prepping to see if that can make things easier for me to choose better.

I will find a way to make this change because it is important to me.

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Three

 

Back to school for my three kids today after Winter Break.  Only thing is it's back to virtual learning for a week before in person classes resume. Their back to reality today will be much different than their reality next week.

Reality is something that has been constantly changing over the past year, but if you think about it, something that changes constantly throughout your entire life.  

What reality I am living with today is definitely not the reality I was living 15 years ago.  The choices I made, the changes I made affected where I am at today.  The changes we choose to make, that we have the freedom to make today will change the reality we live in the future.

I look forward to a reality where I am fit, healthy, happier and more positive.  Where I can be the role model for my children that I aspire to be. 

The small changes I make today will reflect in my reality tomorrow. 

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day Two

This is where I start.

I have so much I want to change to be more positive, to be more healthy, to be more free.

Changing everything, all at once, would be overwhelming.  It would be setting myself up for failure and I definitely want to succeed.

Small changes this week, goal is for these to be ongoing:

30 minute walk outside everyday, weather permitting

No alcohol Sunday - Thursday (this one might not always work but it's the 80/20 goal)

Eat breakfast every day, even if it's just a smoothie

Blog everyday (this also might not always work, again 80/20 goal)

Finish a weekly to-do list for around the house

I am hoping that these small changes will lead to other small changes and that in the end a bigger difference will be made.  

Each week I will try and add some more items to my list. 

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.

Day One

I have the freedom to change my life. 

With all the chaos that was most peoples lives last year (2020) a lot of negativity crept into my everyday life. I got lazy, I got uninspired, I got unmotivated. My exact words to my husband was I feel like the last 8 months were a waste of space. 

To be fair, there were a lot of positives. 

My family has grown closer together. We have spent every night having family dinners and reflecting on the day. We make a point of discussing one or more favourite parts of the day. 

We celebrated. Birthdays, anniversaries, achievements. We did so in different and unique ways but we still acknowledged the milestones. 

We all stayed healthy. That to me was probably the most positive outcome of the entire year. So thankful that all five of us managed this. 

Connections with our friends and family changed but still were there. Virtual coffee dates and wine nights, virtual game nights, socially distanced backyard events. All of this helped us stay in touch. 

Through all the positives, I still felt that I let myself down. I struggled for three years to get fit and lose weight and most of that is out the window. 

Not that I have ever been the tidiest of housekeepers, but the boxes of "stuff" that needs to be dealt with is just piling up. 

I am often feeling like I am disappointing my family when we have days that only consist of video games and movies. 

Truth is, only I can change this. 

Only I can model for my children what healthy living is. To move more, to take pride in our environment, to make our house more a home again. That is the purpose of this, to keep myself accountable for making those changes. 

I am the one in charge of my change. 

I am the one with the freedom to change.